off point...

...folks who can't tell when you are wired/wasted/high always say some fucked up shit like "it's like you are not well(?)". The immediate silence that follows confirms that it actually is a question. In your mind you'll be thinking "all this left and right slanting imaginary stairs I'm climbing (to stand still) is not obvious to this human sobering device? Mehhn! And when was the last time she (mostly ladies are the ones who say this) heard I was not feeling fine?". You know telling them the truth may lead to an endless conversation so you mumble some shit about actually being down or just waking up (at that moment, the most difficult thing to think up is what you were down with. You cannot think up any mild ailment, the mind is attentively racing through a vast void) and follow it with "but I'm fine now, so what's up?", While searching for a surface to lay your outstretched elbow on to distribute your weight...
My neighbour's wife is as cute as a baby angel's fallen feather. she wanted some info and she calls me at the wrong time. My first thought was "why do these things happen at these times?" I postponed the meeting. We have the same employer but work in different parts of town. One hour after the call and an episode of Californication, I went to see her. It was a full house (three queens and I was the second joker). She wanted to know about some form we were to fill and payment and some official shit that explaining would ruin any level of high. After the pleasantries, the next thing she said was "it's like you are not feeling too well...(Silence) ...(Silence) ...(?)" I leaned on the door and thought if I was sick recently. I scantily explained my 'sickness' and said "so what's up". I needed to leave asap. My brain (with the tools of impeccable grammar and 'high' level vocab) went into auto-pilot explaining how the process was to be done...
Back in the box trying to get to the room to get horizontal quickly, an opposing traffic of an human sobering structure intercepted me and asked the most sobering question of all time or of 8pm. "How many days in a week do you go to work?". Fireworks of "WHAT THE FUCK!!!" exploded in my brain then a fizzling sound of "Mehhhhhhhhn!". He knows the answer. He drops me off sometimes. He knows thursdays are days off. He knows the fuck that that is a disturbing question. He knows that I don't like small talk. These folks can't tell shit...

...folks who can tell when you are wired/wasted/high but don't want you to admit it so they can molest your mind, always say some confusing shit when they detect the slightest signs like "you are okay, right?" Or "are you okay?" In a tone that says "it's not a question because I know you are very okay that is why I am smiling at your confusion". As you are about to answer, they articulately interrupt your 'yes' with some conversation you have no connection with or idea about and your mind goes into a "wow!" mantra while your eyes are too lazy to open up so you sit looking stupid and feeling your brain teased and molested...
The day was hectic so I had to cool off. Then I decided to call my gidi/mark town friend. Wrong move. I went to meet her at her friend's garden some thirty minutes later. After pleasantries, her friend excused herself and left us for a bit to sit on the grass with someone. The next thing she said was "are you okay?". Time stood still. I was about to answer when she interrupted with some talk about work, her friend, the garden, travelling...

Scene 1 (she is on her laptop, I am across the table): about work...
Her: are you okay?
Me: ye...
Her: I have been at work since morning, I just rushed down here to finish what I was doing. If I had known that my friend won't charge my laptop, shey! I'd have just stayed back at the office and finish what I was doing. Now the battery is low and I need to send some messages. I will bla bla bla... (three minutes on, in which my mind had switched from asking if she is still talking to why the fuck these things happen at these times). Do you have an idea if they've cracked Airtel modem?
Me: huh,...

Scene 2 (Laptop battery is dead, Me across the table): about the friend and the garden...
Her: you are okay, right?
Me: ye...
Her: My friend manages this garden, they will officially open this sunday that is why nobody is here now and they've not fixed the wiring yet. Her boyfriend likes the grass. She is also a singer. She is from Benue too, in fact, we are cousins. Her mother and my father are cousins. My mother and her father are cousins too. So in a way we are cousins. She performs at Nicon bla bla bla... (Three minutes on and my mind is asking why did I make that phone call. I am just nodding like a stupid lizard). Her boyfriend is Italian. Do you want something to drink?
Me: huh, ye...

Scene 3 (still sitting): about travelling...
Her: are you sure you are okay (emphasis on the second 'you')?
Me: ye...
Her: I will be travelling this weekend, I got a call that I should come. I hate impromptu journeys but I have to go as I am the vice-president and it won't speak well if I am not there. Did I tell you my boyfriend is in london?
Me: ...
Her: maybe I didn't. I'll travel there soon, I just want to prepare some things here first bla bla bla... (I witnessed the big bang and the big crunch in the space of one night)...

Epilogue: by the time I departed I had heard all modifications of "are you okay?" Possible. I also heard and saw some other stuff that toggled my state between 'does that really happen' and 'that is some freaked out shit'. These folk can tell but prefer to make shit worse...

...folks who can tell when you are wired/wasted/high and always want to match up to the same level always say some shit like "how far" or "what's up" which translates to a million things like "can I get some?", "should we go for more?", "where the party at?", "this shit is so on.", "how could you not invite me?", "are we going back?". Any answer or comment you give is the last thing you might remember until the next day. These folks can tell and they don't give a...