Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Mixing Cement...

This is no child's play:


Have you ever mixed sand, cement and water?
If you answered 'no', then you have not lived yet. Ladies, that includes you. I don't want to hear about you not wanting to be a manly. Mix it.
If you answered 'yes', then you can ( permission and ability) read and understand these words...


It really doesn't matter what quantity, what purpose or which location the cement is mixed. It could be with a shovel or a spatula.
Once you make sand meet that fine powdery cement and blend them to form a desired paste, then, you have done it. It is Concrete...


You could do a hundred sit-ups while your girl or your guy (that would be some freaked out shit) rides your face...
You could be the leader of yourself, your squad or your country...
You could punch walls so well that they run whenever they (the walls) sense your presence...


That shit is Science. You don't go fucking around with mixing cement. The concrete reason is; 


3CaO SiO2 + H20 -->(testosterone)--> CaHSiO2 + CaOH + Sweat + Heat


The chemical reaction above (very balanced and accurate, as I know no one will check to confirm) can be interpreted as;


Three spherical (O) Cojones (don't worry about the 'a', that's how chemistry works) Shaped (don't worry about the 'i',...) like Two Oranges (the third one is playing with 'Coherent Superposition') plus Two Hands to grab the Oranges in the presence of Testosterone (not as a catalyst, but as a necessity. As Cojones without Testosterone is like balls without (h)air: Pawn-star) will result in ...(that's an assignment, to be submitted now, in the comment section)...


Only a real dude can do Science like that. Feynman wouldn't have the balls...


You could couple a Fastback '68 Ford Mustang CJ 428 from bolts and nuts to engine and axle to a complete car...
You could single-handedly slaughter a ram that weighs more than you do and has horns longer than your arms (that shit was off the chain badass. All that red slippery warm {almost hot} blood)... 
You could be raised by a family of Vampire Chimeras...


That shit is Divine. You don't go around fucking with mixing cement. The Concrete reason is;


Man was made of sand (not every story is a fairy tale) and given life. But how was the sand made. The mountains. The oceans. And why are planets shaped like Cojones (the main element in the chemical reaction). Sand was taken from Mars, cement from the Moons (there were 73 moons orbiting a mass of water {that's why there are craters on the final moon}), there was abundant water (still is). I think the excess sand was used to create you (please believe)...


The moral of the story is that mixing cement is as divine as creation can get. What could be more ballsy than that?...


You could be a lumberjack...
You could be an ass ass in (pun-star)...
You could be a professional accident survivor...


That shit is Deadly. You don't go fucking around with mixing cement. The concrete reason is;


Quick questions: what is that hardest substance known to man?
What is the sharpest (could cut anything) substance known to man?
What is the most aerodynamic machine ever?
What weapon is used by Ninja-Angels?
What is tool is used for scooping sand and stuff?


Answers: Diamond and/or erection [wrong]. It's a Shovel.
Pinpoint shaped diamond cutter or laser [wrong again]. It's a Shovel.
Frisbeerobotpowerbikespearhead [close, but wrong]. It's a Shovel.
Dove feathered lightning [wrong]. Shovel? [Right].
Shovel [right, 1/5. not bad].


With this freshly acquired knowledge, tell me what the deadliest activity in the universe and beyond is. Mixing cement...
You could break a finger nail in the process. You could get blisters. You could get all sort of aches...


Now, go get some balls. Go mix some cement...


PS: Don't take this home to try (I mean don't take this write up seriously and the cement too)...

2 comments:

  1. ...will result in orange juice *splash! splash!* ain't that overcumin

    ReplyDelete